he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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