If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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