We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
