I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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