I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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