My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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