i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Randomize
