I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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