remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
