Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
