im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
sarcasm needs its own font
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
COCAINE IS GR8
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
