By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
