so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
They took my balls.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
