Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
