Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
