i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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