did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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