He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
