i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
