gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize