i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
