god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
