Whatcha textin bout Willis?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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