yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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