Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
