if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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