we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
