I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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