Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
