Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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