your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just threw up on my dentist
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
