I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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