i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
