I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
