You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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