We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
