Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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