I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Drunk is not a location!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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