Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
jump out the window naked night went bad
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
