Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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