i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
