Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Come see our sink grown plant.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
