Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
