Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize