If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
