I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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