Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize