I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
he just fucked me for my cheese..
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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