I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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