Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just want nice things and good sex
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize