My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
