so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She bit a glass in half.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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