Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
