I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
