A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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