All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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