Pappa wants mamma naked
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
