i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
