I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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