I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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