were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
