just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He did a backflip because drugs
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