Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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