yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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